The Blueberry Review

What comes to mind when you think of herbal tea? Green tea? Wimpy, right? Uninspired. Droll. Don't hippies drink that stuff? Oh those smelly hippies. Sure, tea is easy to pick on, and why not, it's not like it has feelings or anything.

What if I told you that one sip of Celestial Seasonings Blueberry Breeze Green Tea would dispel the above stereotypes? You'd scoff. Sure. Because you're cynical, jaded, and under stress. Your scoffing would be warranted, though, because you would begin to suspect there was something special about this tea BEFORE you sipped it -- as soon as you poured it (or watched it steep in the saucepan like I do because a teapot just isn't a necessary item according to the fundamental laws of utilitarian budget restrictions). You'd notice that its reddish-purple color is familiar because it appears to you at sunset. You'd stare and fret about what would happen if you spilled such a vibrant color on the carpet. You'd spill it, yet it would not stain. You'd sip, and realize it was divine -- this, the ambrosia of the Gods -- but you'd still wonder how it would taste if you drizzled some honey into the cup -- just a little -- and squeezed some lemon into it, never minding the seeds escaping the pulp.

Then you would taste again. You would delight in the way the sweetness blended with just the right amount of tartness, remniscent of fresh blueberries but without the staining properties. You would gaze at the Blueberry Goddess on the package and love her and the artist who conjured her. Stress would drain from your body as you sipped, content in the experience of beauty joined with perfection.

You would then climb into bed, ready for sleep. And then you'd lie awake for hours, because it's green tea, silly, and it's caffeinated.